Football: Stop It, You’ve Even Worn Ronaldo Out

Do you still remember those summers in the 2000s when the gods of soccer began to fade? Daluo became a legend at the World Cup; Little Cristiano wept at the European Championship’s Estadio da Luz; Zidane came within reach of the World Cup trophy, only to miss it… Chen Yang, a failed soccer player, stays up all night watching the World Cup in the US, Canada, and Mexico, and dies suddenly. He transmigrates to 2004 as a discarded player by both the Chinese national team and Manchester United, and binds himself to a soccer grind System. His teammates can’t keep up, and his coach is at his wits’ end. Rooney: “Have you ever seen Manchester at four in the morning? He sees it every day.” Cristiano Ronaldo: “I thought I was the most disciplined person in the world, but I never imagined anyone could be even crazier than me!” Ferguson: “This guy never stops training. He’s pushed the whole Premier League into staying sharp!” Young De Bruyne: “I still have no idea what’s going on. I like Chen Yang, but I’ve realized I’ve always been living in his shadow, unable to surpass him.” Teammates: “Please, give it a rest! If you keep pushing this hard, you’re going to make our lives miserable!” (No female lead, career-focused, Premier League, Champions League, slightly unhinged)