We Cultivate Our Own Crooked Logic, Just to Put the Heavens in Their Place

[Fantasy with a Twist] [Subverting Expectations] [Cultivation] [Comedy] [System]

Lu Shiqi transmigrates into the Cultivation world as a genius with a “first-grade heavenly spirit root.” Before he can even celebrate, a second test condemns him to death:

The Heavenly Dao has no record of him. Spiritual energy dissipates as soon as it enters his body. Branded an “outcast of the Heavenly Dao,” he is tossed into the servant quarters to await his death.

Everyone tells him, “The Heavenly Dao has expelled you.”

Lu Shiqi thinks, “What a coincidence. I don’t want to work for this lousy server either.”

While others meditate and cultivate, he lies on the roof, sunbathing and making snarky comments.

While others strive to reach the Golden Core stage, he pulls out a shared flying sword and waits for a delivery request.

The stricter the Heavenly Dao’s rules and the more serious the cultivators’ airs, the more effective his “common-sense nonsense” becomes.

Someone reports him for practicing demonic arts.

He pulls out a QR code sticker and slaps it onto the accuser’s forehead.

“Scan it and see how much your prohibited ingredients exceed the limit.”

Everyone looks down and sees the sticker says: Scan to pay and your report will be waived.

Someone cites the laws of the Heavenly Dao and demands his execution.

Lu Shiqi whips out a stapler and staples shut the other person’s grand, self-righteous speech with a sharp “click.”

“Speak plainly. Stop reading off a PowerPoint.”

The entire Cultivation world is hunting this “System bug.”

Then one day, he offers a bowl of hot soup that fell out of a delivery box

to an immortal venerable whose Dao heart is on the verge of collapse after three hundred years of being gaslit by orthodox doctrine.

The immortal venerable takes a sip, his hands trembling.

“...This tastes like my mother’s cooking.”

What the Heavenly Dao has always lacked is not authority or rules, but the warmth of everyday life.

Lu Shiqi stands up and brushes the dust from his clothes.

“Then I’ll provide it.”

“He’s right. I’ll set off the fireworks, and he’ll take down the backend.”