I transmigrated as Zhou Cang, the Three Kingdoms’ greatest sword-bearer, and awakened the 【Human Shield System】
I don’t train with a blade or learn martial arts. I just have to take a beating to get stronger!
But there’s one side effect: I sweat like crazy all over, forming a two-centimeter-thick layer of mud armor that reeks like a biological weapon.
From then on, Zhou Cang’s life goes completely off the rails
he causes his mother’s death, eats the whole village out of house and home, takes out opponents with a booger, and sneezes mighty generals to death.
He sells contraband salt faster than warhorses can run, and drives off five thousand Tiger and Leopard Cavalry by stinking them out while guarding Changban Bridge.
Borrowing arrows with a straw boat? I stand at the bow as a target, and every arrow gets stuck in my mud armor. Cao Cao loses enough to make him vomit blood.
A solo meeting over a single blade? I stand behind Guan Yu, and Lu Su throws up on the spot. No one in Eastern Wu dares say a word.
Flooding the seven armies? I walk along the riverbed and drag Pang De up from underwater, scaring him into thinking he’s seen a water ghost.
Cao Cao sends me wound medicine and writes letters urging me to surrender, convinced I’m covered in injuries.
Zhou Cang: “Boss Cao, those aren’t wounds. It’s mud.”
The messenger faints in tears. “General, don’t lie to me. You’re the very soul of loyalty and righteousness!”
Later, Liu Bei makes me General Ironwall, Zhuge Liang uses me for experiments, Zhang Fei challenges me to a drinking contest, and Sun Quan breaks three swords on me.
Even Cao Pi personally takes a swing at me. One strike, and his hand breaks.
I can’t use a blade or fight, but I’m the toughest shield in the world.
Want to kill me? Ask the mud and stink covering me first.
This is the bizarre tale of a terrible swimmer who walks underwater, a roughneck who defeats enemies with boogers, and a man who changes the Three Kingdoms just by lying down and taking a beating. Serious? Not a chance. The fun is real.
