I'm the only king of the Hundred Thousand Mountains, yet I can't even afford formula for my daughter.
Before coming down the mountain, I thought I was the chosen hero.
After coming down, I realized I was helpless at everyday life.
My daughter wants ice cream, but I have no money.
Me: “Black Bear, go buy that shop.”
The result: Black Bear slapped a paw down on the counter, and the owner fell to his knees and gave me the entire mall on the spot.
A passerby: “Wait, are gangsters really this straightforward now?!”
My wife asks me to buy groceries.
Me: “Eagle, go catch a few of the freshest wild animals you can find.”
The result: A live antelope that's a thousand years old was dropped into the market from ten thousand meters up, causing a stampede.
The aunties: “Isn't this antelope a protected animal? The meat's so tender. Whose is it?!”
My daughter's kindergarten is holding a talent show.
Me: “Monkey, go perform a staff routine to liven things up.”
The result: Monkey punched a hole through the ceiling with his staff and faced off against an armed helicopter on the roof.
Everyone: “...”
Me, covering my face: “Honey, I was wrong. Let's go live in the mountains again. Earth is too dangerous.”
Is the author a single female protagonist?