Beneath the Holy Light, We’re All Ordinary People

Round little Toby had just two principles in life after joining the church: stay alive first, and admire beautiful women whenever possible. He slacked off and dodged trouble, slickly muddling through life until he clawed his way up from lowly priest to the Holy See. Everyone laughed at the fat pope, calling him greedy and cowardly, nothing like a saint. But when darkness engulfed the continent and crisis loomed, this vulgar man, who feared death more than anyone, puffed out his belly and held back the darkness, keeping the light alive across the land. As a priest, I’m greedy and lustful, and I run whenever trouble strikes. All I want is a quiet, peaceful life. Who could have guessed that, step by step, I’d rise through the ranks and end up as pope? Clad in holy light, but still vulgar at heart, I know my own measure even if everyone mocks me as lecherous and cowardly. There’s nothing wrong with living to see another day, but I could never turn a blind eye to the lives and safety of all people.