My name is Shen Zhiwei. I’m an ordinary girl from an ordinary family.
At home, there’s a mother who never stops complaining and a father who never says a word. At the dinner table, nobody asks, “How have you been lately?” All I hear is “When are you getting married?” and “Look at what other people’s kids are doing.”
I’m dating Lu Chengyu, a soldier. We’re thousands of miles apart, keeping our relationship alive through our phones. Sometimes we’re in the middle of an argument when the signal cuts out. I call back, only to find his phone switched off: he’s been called in for an emergency muster. By the time he has a chance to call me back, I’ve already worked through my feelings on my own and tell him, “It’s fine now.”
He says, “Can you stop carrying everything by yourself?”
I say, “If I don’t, can you carry it for me?”
He doesn’t answer.
I work as an assistant manager at Yunqi Lodge, handling complaints, counting linens, and looking after guests every day. The security footage from one night made me realize for the first time that some people only pretend to be respectable, some are forced into silence, and some things we dismiss with “Never mind” can leave a person unable to get back on their feet for the rest of their life.
This isn’t a story about turning your life around.
There’s no comeback, no face-slapping, no savior appearing out of nowhere.
It’s simply about one person fighting an invisible battle on three fronts at once: family, love, and work.
It took her a very, very long time to go from “Never mind” to “No,” from “I’m fine” to “I’m not fine.”
If you’re always holding back in a relationship, always giving ground somewhere, always telling someone “I’m fine” to their face...
This story is for you.
