Max-Level Baby Talk: From the Start, a One-Year-Old Toddler Gets Me Recruited

[Heartwarming dad life + hardcore apocalypse + baby-talk translation + a whole nation’s support + professional expertise crushing the competition]

Gu Beichen, a director of pediatrics at a top-tier hospital, drops dead in the on-call room and wakes up reborn in a parallel world, in the body of a good-for-nothing who shares his name.

He gets one bonus talent: maximum-level baby-talk interpretation.

To his ears, every baby’s cry comes through in crystal-clear, simultaneous translation.

He thinks he’ll make a steady living with his skills and keep his head down for the rest of his life, until he finds a chubby little bundle abandoned at the gates of an orphanage.

When the little one cries, he hears: “Daddy, there’s a really, really huge bug under the sea, and it’s coming up to eat people!”

When the little one smiles, a forty-three-meter sea monster turns to ash in ten seconds.

When the little one burps, the Eastern Theater Command’s entire firewall crashes, and every screen starts broadcasting live footage from the ocean floor.

When the little one takes a nap, an armored shell that can withstand armor-piercing rounds shatters from the inside.

Carrying this walking nuclear bomb, Gu Beichen steps into the police station and says, “Officer, I’d like to turn myself in.”

From then on, a three-star general serves as his bodyguard, the entire nation pitches in to buy formula, and special forces soldiers line up to learn how to burp a baby.

The whole world thinks he’s holding a national treasure in his arms.

Only Gu Beichen knows the truth:

This little thing needs feeding every three hours, a diaper change every two, and starts wailing right on schedule at three in the morning. After blasting a forty-three-meter monster to smithereens, its first words were, “Daddy, Tuan Tuan wants some applesauce.”

Get the baby to sleep once = save a city.

Burp the baby once = a national defense-level strategic operation.

Get the formula water temperature one degree wrong = the most expensive medical mishap in the country.

Gu Beichen: I’m probably the first dad in history to be placed under national protection because his kid pooped.