A Rookie Taoist from Uncle Nine's World to the Vampire Diaries

Lin Yifeng, a 996 programmer, falls off a cliff while mountain climbing and lands on a battered wooden box. His blood soaks into the lid, and the two characters “Qiankun” begin to glow faintly. Yan Chixia’s voice explodes in his mind: “Disciple, this is the Qiankun Sword Case. I’m passing the Myriad Swords Return to One technique on to you. Don’t disgrace your master.” He opens the sword case. Inside is nothing but a lump of iron rusted solid. “Master, where’s the rest of the gear?” The giant rusty sword hums: If you’re going to look down on me, then don’t take me. And things get even wilder: he transmigrates into a grand mash-up of Republic-era zombie movies. Uncle Nine, Mao Xiaofang, Mr. Vampire, Encounter of the Spooky Kind... They’re all here. No money, no cultivation, and an empty sword case. There’s only one way forward: raise flying swords of his own. Cleavers, spatulas, bricks, butcher’s knives: he stuffs them all into the sword case. Other people wield swords that flash with a streak of blue light. He looks like the aftermath of a hardware store going out of business. “Heaven and Earth know no bounds, lend me the power of Qiankun. Draw your blade, slay demons and banish evil!” A cleaver wobbles wildly and hits a little ghost. From Mr. Vampire to Vampire Expert, from Uncle Nine’s school to Mao Xiaofang’s side. He joins Ma Danna in hunting down Jiang Chen, and willingly allows himself to be sealed for sixty years to hold back the Zombie True Ancestor. Sixty years later, in Hong Kong, a disheveled Taoist appears before Ma Xiaoling. Ma Xiaoling hands him a cleaver, polished and well cared for. “Great-grandma said the cleaver is still here, but the person is gone. She told you not to wait.” Sixty years have changed everything, but the cleaver is still here, the sword case is still here, and half the incantation is still here. From corpse-driving in western Hunan to exorcising demons in Hong Kong, from a rusty iron sword to a divine weapon that slays demons. Facing Nuwa, Jiang Chen, and Fate, he declares, “Fate, you can control everything, but you can’t control the choices of a broke man. My cleaver’s a no-name brand. Your System can’t verify it!” The Myriad Swords Return to One: a sky full of cleavers.