Marvel: Sign In from the Start and Take on Thanos's Snap

After transmigrating into Marvel as a five-year-old orphan, I was lucky that the sign-in System came online just in time. After twenty-five years of signing in, I became immortal, a master of both the pen and the sword, and strong enough to dismantle a tank with my bare hands! I compete with Howard to see who’s the greatest genius, and turn Tony into a nanotech fanatic; I wait seventy years for Captain America, watching little Tony slowly grow up. Others rely on armor or the power of Thor to fight. I can lie flat and sign in, and still crush everyone. I show off my armor in the Battle of New York, mediate the Civil War while the heroes sabotage one another, and spend all of Infinity War slacking off while holding the line. The final battle? Don’t let Tony sacrifice himself. I’ll wear the Infinity Gauntlet, snap my fingers, and wipe out Thanos’s army. I save every hero, rewrite every tragedy, and kick back with the Avengers over barbecue skewers, trading insults. Life in Marvel is simply the best!