Three Kingdoms: I'm Still Young, Don't Make Me Rebel!

Liu Bian opened his eyes and discovered he had become the young emperor of the Eastern Han.

The bad news: He Jin had just died, the eunuchs were throwing the palace into chaos, and Dong Zhuo’s army was at Luoyang. Though he was emperor in name, he didn’t even dare drink a bowl of “calming soup” brought to his bedside.

Worse news: According to the historical record, he would soon be deposed and made Prince of Hongnong, then sent off with a cup of poisoned wine.

To stay alive, Liu Bian had no choice but to play the coward while quietly seizing power.

While others fought for command of the army, he checked the procedures for delivering imperial edicts. While others grabbed for the imperial seal, he made them log every time it changed hands. When the eunuchs tried to forge an imperial decree, he made them put their own heads on the line in the prison. When Dong Zhuo planned to enter the palace under imperial orders, Liu Bian prepared a “rebel’s hat” and waited for Dong Zhuo to put it on himself.

Empress Dowager He wanted to seize power. Liu Bian smiled and offered her a way forward: “Mother, your wisdom is unmatched.”

The court officials wanted to smooth things over. Liu Bian made them sign their names and accept responsibility: “If your backs are strong, gentlemen, then take the blame for Dong Zhuo.”

Dong Zhuo thought the young emperor would be easy to handle, only to find the palace gates shut, the edict a fake, and his status as a rebel already set in stone.

But Liu Bian knew perfectly well that escaping the poisoned wine was only the first step.

In this crumbling Han palace, the imperial seal, edicts, military tallies, relatives of the empress, eunuchs, warlords, and powerful clans could all prove deadly.

He was still young.

But he wasn’t blind.

He would not drink that poisoned wine.

And he had no intention of surrendering the realm.