What’s it like to be the only daughter of the head of Tianyan Sect, the greatest sect in the Cultivation world? Thanks for asking. I’m on a celestial mountain, but my heart is in the mortal realm. My lifelong dream is to go down the mountain, open a little restaurant, and enjoy the everyday warmth of ordinary life.
I’ve worked so hard to make that dream come true. The first time I ran away from home, my romance-obsessed dad assumed I was just throwing a little tantrum. He sent ten elders to “escort” me back and gave me a treasure pavilion as an apology.
Me: “…” Dad, is it possible I just want a bowl of plain noodles from the mortal world?
The second time, I tried to cripple my own spiritual root. Instead, a streak of spiritual light from beyond the heavens hit me. Not only did I fail, I accidentally opened up all my extraordinary meridians and became the sect’s universally acclaimed “once-in-a-generation genius.”
The whole sect celebrated. I was the only one hiding under the covers, crying until I hiccupped. Help! I don’t want to get caught up in all this competition!
From then on, I strayed further and further down the path of being a lazy freeloader. I secretly cleared a patch of land in the back mountain to grow vegetables, and the elders mistook it for an attempt to cultivate ancient spiritual plants. I set up a stove to experiment with recipes, and my senior brothers thought I was studying the Great Way of Alchemical Fire. I watched the stars at night just to see whether it would rain the next day, and people started saying I was divining the secrets of heaven…
Then one day, the Demon Lord marched an army to our gates and demanded to meet the mysterious master who was “a divine chef and an infallible strategist.”
My dad pushed me to the front with a look of pride. “Go, daughter! Defend the honor of our sect with your spatula, which rivals a divine artifact!”
I look at the spatula in my hand, then at the Demon Lord, who’s brimming with murderous intent, and fall into deep thought.
Is it too late to tell everyone I really am just a cook?
