He has severe post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Three years ago, a failed surgery ended with the patient dying on the operating table, the only major mistake of his career. The patient was a six-year-old girl who suffered an intracranial hemorrhage after surgery. He couldn't save her. Since then, he has suffered from insomnia, punished himself, and come to believe that he “doesn't deserve anything good.” He doesn't dare get close to Shen Zhiyin, embrace her, or tell her “I love you,” because he thinks his hands are stained with blood and he has no right to touch her.
Professional details: He is a top neurosurgeon with exceptionally steady hands, able to stitch together blood vessels just 0.3 millimeters wide under a microscope. But after every surgery, he spends a long time washing his hands in the restroom, scrubbing until his skin turns red and wrinkled, as though he could wash something out from between his fingers.
