Bian’an Group Business Trip Log

I, Lu Jingyao, product manager, worked myself to death from overtime and passed on to the Pure Land.

I thought I'd be able to lie flat and enjoy myself from then on, but Bodhisattva Manjushri sent me on a business trip to the Twenty-Eighth Heaven to give the heavenly beings a PowerPoint presentation. The topic was “Standardized Procedures for Managing Blessings.”

While fighting, the heavenly beings of the Four Heavenly Kings Heaven asked me, “How do we kill asuras without losing KPI points?”

Indra of Trayastrimsa Heaven demanded a “Blessings Revitalization Plan.” I replied, “Fewer parties, more meditation.”

The heavenly beings of the Heaven of Light and Sound chatted in beams of light. My translated PowerPoint rendered “no-self” as “no you,” and the whole room spiraled into a philosophical meltdown.

The heavenly beings of the Heaven of Neither Perception nor Non-Perception had cultivated for eighty thousand kalpas. I woke them up and asked, “Your nap alarm went off. Would you like to renew?”

The six heavens of the Desire Realm, the eighteen heavens of the Form Realm, and the four heavens of the Formless Realm: I gave my presentation one level at a time.

Even gods get anxious, and even heavenly beings get caught up in the rat race.

And I, a laid-back Buddhist devotee who only burns incense on weekends, somehow became the most sought-after lecturer in Heaven.

This is a story about blessings, PowerPoint, and “lending a coworker a hand.”