Squidward, Are You Really Squidward?

[Childhood urban legends] + [The unspeakable] + [National Fortune livestream] + [Bikini Bottom Support Squad] + [After endless despair, hope is sure to come]

One: I am Squidward, a Bikini Bottom local. I live in the Easter Island Head House, with two annoying neighbors, SpongeBob and Patrick, and a job I hate as the cashier at the Krusty Krab.

Two: Although I work as a cashier at the Krusty Krab, what I truly love is pursuing art. The instrument in my hands is called a recorder, though for some reason people on land insist on calling it a clarinet.

Three: As far as I can remember, I only just got back from Octopus Village. I’d spent an annoying Christmas with SpongeBob, then got mocked by the playboy handsome squid and was forced to put together a band in Bikini Bottom. We even held a grand performance at the Bubble Bowl.

Four: Bikini Bottom is a lively place. There’s a nuclear explosion every few days, the sea god suddenly goes berserk, and sometimes an alien species invades. I’ve thought about leaving this dump countless times, but where else could I go in this vast ocean?

Five: I’ve been exhausted lately. I’ve had enough of SpongeBob and Patrick, and I want to get away for a while and travel somewhere I won’t run into them. Anywhere will do...

Six: A National Fortune livestream? What the heck is that? Wait...

This book is also known as “Seven Consecutive Losses in the National Fortune Game? Don’t Panic, Let Squidward Sub In!!”