Master of Traditional Taoism Livestreams Exorcisms with Physics

“Boundless Heavenly Venerable, good evening, folks! No chanting or talismans tonight. I’m showing you something real...” Zhang Daoling was an unofficial Taoist priest from Mount Longhu. After three months of livestreaming, his follower count had stubbornly stayed at 250, until he was struck by lightning and awakened the Live-Streaming Shock System. From then on, the fake priest was forced to put his real supernatural powers to work. A prank crew shows up? He whips out a body-freezing talisman and teaches them live: “You little brats, know what the rules are?” A haunted-house exploration turns up a real ghost? He swings his peachwood sword with the force of a brick. “You want to talk science with me? Let’s see if it can pass the science test!” As the whole internet goes wild, a black Hongqi sedan quietly pulls up. The window rolls down, and a man in sunglasses speaks in a strong Beijing accent. “You’re Taoist Master Zhang, right? The 749 Bureau needs an outside consultant. Benefits included, plus magical treasures. You in?” Zhang Daoling calculates with his fingers. “...Does it come with an official position?”