The Martial Emperor Is a Meme Lord

Name: The Martial Emperor Is a Meme Lord
Author: User91440219

武皇有梗

by User91440219 (用户91440219)

Status: Completed
Length: 211k Words
Genre: Ancient Romance
Subgenre: Palace & Household Intrigue
Updated: 5mo ago
Source: Fanqie

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52Chapters

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21Reads · all time

Synopsis

In 624 AD, strange phenomena filled the skies above the Governor-General’s Office in Lizhou as Wu Zetian came into the world with a wail. Her first cry shattered the window paper and howled the city’s dogs hoarse. Yuan Tiangang was shaken off his donkey. Stuffing earplugs into his ears, he rushed over. “The signal tower’s fixed. Stop shouting.” The baby’s cries abruptly stopped. She opened her eyes, her inner monologue exploding: “This old man knows 5G?” And so, this “Empress of the Barrage’s Growth Story” officially began broadcasting. At twelve, she entered the palace as a low-ranking consort who swept floors during Emperor Taizong’s reign, breaking horses while grumbling, “What’s wrong with Old Li’s eyes?” At Ganye Temple, she was a nun, but the young Li Zhi came to her for a secret romance. Back in the palace to seize the throne, she was the “deity” summoned by Empress Wang, only to discover that summoning a god was easy, but sending one away was hard. From low-ranking consort to empress, from empress dowager to sovereign, she leveled up and fought her way through, her inner monologue never letting up: the court was a workplace, cruel officials were tools, her sons were “brats,” and Di Renjie was “a real snake.” On her deathbed, her furious roar echoed through Qianling: “Di Renjie! What a fine prime minister you recommended!” This is a comedic retelling that examines the empress’s life through a modern perspective. It has imperial-couple moments so sweet they’ll make your teeth ache, mother-son turmoil that’ll make your heart tremble, battles between charlatans that’ll leave you doubled over with laughter, and a deathbed confession that’ll make you cry until your makeup runs. Official history is Side A; her inner world is Side B. Come send your comments about Wu Zetian’s Side B life. In a nutshell: The empress you imagine: dignified, ruthless, and invincible. The real Wu Zetian: more inner drama than you have.

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