Inkstone Kill: Starting by Smashing a Eunuch to Death

I transmigrated into the body of a useless emperor.

Just how useless? Impotent for three years, with three thousand beauties in the harem and nothing to do but look.

Just how miserable? Even the eunuchs dared insult me to my face, and their loyalty scores were at -80.

From the start, I was handed a bowl of poisoned pills, so I promptly gave it to the old eunuch.

He wouldn't drink? I pulled out an inkstone and asked if he'd like to try that instead.

He ran away.

The next day, Prince Duan came to steal my woman.

I grabbed a dung stirrer and broke all three of his legs.

Yes, all three.

On the third day, the Empress Dowager came to settle accounts, bringing her lover with her.

Right in front of her, I smashed her lover's mouth to pieces, then smashed his crotch too.

The Empress Dowager asked where I got the nerve.