The good news: I awakened my destined divine armor.
The bad news: It’s a pile of scrap metal everyone looks down on.
From then on, my whole story goes completely off the rails.
While everyone else risks life and limb in the “Ruins” to mine “Heartgold,” I drive a tractor to the scrapyard to hunt for treasures.
The result: They spend three months digging and come up empty, while I pry a fist-sized nugget from an old engine.
The shop owner, overjoyed, says, “You silly kid, buy it quick!”
While everyone else studies “the theory of piloting Heart Bridges” at the academy, I spend every day poring over Mechanical Repair: From Beginner to Giving Up.
The result: They’re still stuck in the “Focused Mind Realm,” wrestling with simulators, while I’m drifting around with alien creatures in a “Soul-Out-of-Body Realm” divine suit cobbled together from scrap, riding a three-wheeled contraption.
The teacher, stunned, says, “You call that a beginner’s guide?!”
