Apocalypse: I'm a Zombie, So I'll Come Clean

Name: Apocalypse: I'm a Zombie, So I'll Come Clean
Author: Never Repeats an Insult

末世：我是僵尸，不装了摊牌了

by Never Repeats an Insult (怼人不重样)

Status: Completed
Length: 244k Words
Genre: Rural Life
Subgenre: Sci-Fi & Apocalypse
Updated: 6mo ago
Source: Fanqie

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128Chapters

139Reads

63Listens

7.7kReads · all time

Synopsis

I, Si Jiuyou, crawled out of the ground in a tattered funeral robe, eyes bloodshot, staggering and hopping toward them. I had to save the little crybaby sobbing at my grave. I swept my arm out, snapped their limbs with a series of cracks, and flung them away. Then I hopped in front of Qiangqiang and looked down at him. “Who are you? You’re so dark you look like a coal ball that’s come to life. My Qiangqiang is fair and tender, a hundred times better-looking than you. Why are you blindly calling me Mommy?” You nearly made me burst through my coffin lid. Qiangqiang tugged at my clothes, sobbing. “Mommy, I’m Qiangqiang!” As soon as he finished speaking, a clear, gentle male voice came from behind me. “Miss Si, would you like a little yang energy?” I turned to see a handsome man holding out his wrist, eyes crinkling as he smiled. “Help yourself, there’s plenty!” My eyes lit up. I leaned in and took a deep breath. The tension left my whole body, and I smacked my lips. “Handsome guys’ yang energy smells so much better than that garbage chicken blood, a million times better!” The moment I finished, a clap of thunder crashed down from the sky. I hopped around, cursing. “Heavenly Dao, what’s wrong with you? You’re striking me down just for taking a breath of yang energy? Did you forget I’m your own daughter?” As soon as I finished, my Taoist-master father teleported over and dragged me off to claim my ancestral place. Thirty-six ancestral Taoist-master tablets stood in a row, each one with a scowl. My father whipped out some superglue, stuck all the tablets together, planted his hands on his hips, and shouted, “Either you accept my zombie daughter into the family, or I’ll glue your tablets to the outhouse!” The ancestors were so furious they jumped up and down, but in the end they had no choice but to give in. Who would’ve thought? A zombie becomes a Taoist master, and she’s the Heavenly Dao’s own daughter too. Her father protects her, handsome men offer her yang energy. Life is amazing!

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