Exiled to Ningguta? I’ll Lead the Kids in a Rebellion

Exiled from the start, I was betrayed by my fiancé, the Crown Prince, and my cousin, who joined forces to make sure I died in Ningguta.

They all say I’ve gone mad. They’re right, I have.

[First bout of madness: Public face-slapping]

The imperial eunuch delivering the edict struts around arrogantly. I flick a chestnut right back, sending my gloating cousin straight into a bucket of slops.

Hearing her shriek, I laugh until I’m breathless. “Don’t rush, little sister. The revenge show has only just begun.”

Everyone gasps. “That woman has a death wish!”

[Second bout of madness: Taming the attack dogs]

On the road to exile, the guards try to get handsy. I say coolly, “If there are flies, my son will break their hands, and my daughter will steal their horses.”

From then on, the guards become servants, the prison cart becomes a motorhome, and I turn the road to exile into a royal procession.

The guards are on the verge of tears. “My lady, please just get to Ningguta already!”

[Third bout of madness: Building a city in the wasteland]

When we reach Ningguta, a place so desolate not even birds would shit there, everyone expects me to die.

I spread my arms, and overnight the wasteland becomes an oasis, wooden houses rise from the ground, and cooking smoke curls into the sky.

General Wu Zhen stares in disbelief. “I must still be dreaming. Is this damn place heaven on earth?!”

Later, I empty the imperial treasury, build an iron cavalry, and trample the treacherous emperor beneath my feet.

He asks in terror, “Who are you, really?”

I fling the confiscation edict that started it all in his face, smiling with cruel delight. “A vengeful ghost you drove mad, here to collect what you owe!”