Reborn as a Giant Panda, the Nation Begs Me Not to Break Out of Prison

After dying from overwork at his 996 job, Ji An was reborn as a six-month-old panda cub.

He thought he could enjoy a national treasure's life of lazing around and making a living by being cute. Who knew his corporate-drone soul would awaken!

Panda milk? Even dogs wouldn't drink that! I want spicy hotpot, barbecue skewers, and ice-cold cola!

And so, the Chengdu Panda Base underwent a dramatic transformation:

Late at night, security cameras caught a panda skillfully using a fingerprint lock to sneak into a keeper's dorm and cook beef tripe in a hotpot.

In the visitor area, a panda caught a rock with one hand, then used a Tai Chi move to redirect the force and take down a troublesome kid with pinpoint accuracy.

In the King's Canyon, a jungle-playing Arthur made slick plays, then let out an “Awooo!” over the mic, leaving teammates across the internet stunned!

The keeper broke down: “Director, I can't handle this panda! It was just teaching me how to do sit-ups!”

The whole internet was shocked: “Animals aren't allowed to become spirits after the founding of the People's Republic, unless you're a panda!”

Just as Ji An was thriving thanks to his “Shock System,” an international poaching ring set its sights on this kung fu panda...

Ji An sneered. “You want to catch me and cut me up? Come on, I'll show you what real kung fu looks like!”