Three Kingdoms: My System Is a Little Broken

Gu Xiaobei transmigrates. When other people transmigrate, their Systems give them divine arts, mighty generals, or nuclear weapons. Gu Xiaobei’s System only sends him straight to his doom.

“Ding! Main quest: While Zhang Fei is bathing, steal his underwear and shout, ‘Zhang Yide of Yan, your taste is wild!’” “Ding! While Cao Cao is giving a speech, use a megaphone to play ‘Green Light’ on repeat.”

Gu Xiaobei: “System, is something seriously wrong with you?” System: “Host detected insulting the System. ‘Social Death Mode’ forced activation. Countdown: ten seconds…” Gu Xiaobei: “Dad! I was wrong! You’re my real dad!”

With this “seriously messed-up” System, Gu Xiaobei begins an outrageously flamboyant life of survival in the Three Kingdoms. He kicks Lü Bu, tears up the script, and casually spirits away all the beautiful women who would otherwise suffer through the chaos, bringing them back to his own “back garden.” This is the Han dynasty, but it belongs to Gu Xiaobei’s “terminally ill” Han dynasty!