Historical Figures Keep Appearing in My Bathroom on a Timer

The bathroom in programmer Zhang Wei’s home has been acting strange lately: it’s started refreshing historical figures on a timer. The first to arrive was Li Jiancheng, Crown Prince of the Tang Dynasty. He climbed up from beside the toilet in a bright yellow court robe and immediately demanded to kill his younger brother, Li Erfeng. Then Emperor Taizong of Tang, Li Shimin, transmigrated there too, dragging his ailing body along. The brothers glared at each other in my living room, on the verge of reenacting the Xuanwu Gate Incident. Before I could sort things out, the drunken Poet Immortal Li Bai stumbled out of the bathroom, throwing up as he recited “Bring in the Wine.” Just as Zhang Wei was at his wit’s end, a delicate female voice came from the bathroom: “Where... is Meiniang?” Well, Wu Zetian had arrived too.