A Toddler Traitor? Me? I'm Only Three and a Half!

I’m Gu Ruanruan, an unlucky wild mushroom. I’d barely taken human form when I was struck by lightning and reincarnated as a three-year-old toddler sent to Prince Jing’an’s manor to settle a debt.

To stay alive, I promptly clung to the biggest thigh in the capital: Xiao Wuwang, Prince Jing’an, rumored to be a cold-blooded, ruthless killer.

No one knew that this murderous prince could read minds, and I happened to be a walking spoiler machine and snark generator.

[Waaah, this prince is so handsome, what a shame he’s going to die young. He’ll be poisoned to death at thirty!]

[Good heavens, that jade pendant in his study is fake. The real military tally is hidden in the pen barrel… Oh no, I’ve got pastry crumbs up my nose.]

[That Noble Consort’s makeup is so ugly today, she looks like a monkey’s behind. The pastries she brought must be poisoned. You mutt of a prince, stop me already!]

With my thoughts broadcast live, Xiao Wuwang cleared every obstacle and rose from a sickly, possessive prince to the emperor.

Once my work was done, I packed up my little nest egg and prepared to run away and enjoy retirement, only to be cornered by him at the palace gate. The

man’s eyes were bloodshot, his voice hoarse as he pulled me into his arms. “Ruanruan, I’ve kept the empress’s seat empty for you all this time. You’ve had my ‘mushroom’, where do you think you’re going?”

Help! I’m just a mushroom who wants to lie flat. I never wanted to be empress! Your Majesty, don’t come any closer!

I couldn’t come up with a good novel title for the blurb, so please head to the main text.