The Nation Gave Me Black Technology, So I Turned In Immortal Arts!

I got a portal that lets me trade with the government. I thought it would make me rich, but instead I'm forced to show off every day.

I only wanted to trade for a gun to protect myself, but one shot shattered the flying sword of a prodigy from an enemy sect.

The gifted cultivator, his Dao heart shattered: "Impossible! My Lingxi Sword is made of black iron. How could it break?!"

Me, shrugging: "Could it be that your sword is a little calcium-deficient?"

I only wanted to get some spirit stones to spend, but a thermobaric bomb I traded for from Earth blew a Foundation Establishment elder to ashes.

The sect master and elders, kneeling in worship: "An immortal's power! Our founding patriarch has manifested!"

Me: "...Get up, the ground is cold. Don't catch a chill."

I only wanted to explain physics to my senior sister, but she took Newtonian mechanics into seclusion for three days and came out having grasped the supersonic electromagnetic sword-riding art.

Su Qing, slashing her sword and producing a sonic boom: "Junior Brother Lin, is this the F=ma you were talking about? I understand now!"

Me: "??? Wait, is this even science?!"

Help! My cheat is so powerful that it's thrown both the cultivation world and Earth out of whack. Now both worlds are clamoring for a two-way ascension. What do I do? Answer quickly, this is urgent!