I’m Going Crazy, So Why Do You Call Me the Savior?

This world is sick, but I’m a more professional kind of sick. The supernatural is returning, and all of humanity is begging for its life, while I’m teaching streetlights how to eat dog food. My boss wants to lay me off and photocopy my soul? I burn spirit money for myself in front of everyone: “No need to fire me. I’ve already collected an advance on my seventh-day memorial.”