Everyone else cultivates immortality while I lie flat, but my spiritual energy has ideas of its own
Reborn as a background character in a tragic xianxia novel, Xie Langya only wants to lie flat. Unfortunately, from the start she’s thrown into the deadly Bone-Melting Pool, and the unreliable System binds her to a ridiculous energy source.
With her body about to dissolve, she squeezes her eyes shut and steels herself.
“Grandpa Pool God! Let me wish you an early Happy New Year!”
She follows a broadcast calisthenics routine with a prayer dance, then leaps into the deadly pool in the most spectacularly ridiculous pose possible.
And then… she stews herself until she’s brimming with spiritual energy, filling the air for miles with a mouthwatering aroma.
Even more absurdly, the scent attracts Shen Xinghe, the sect’s once-in-a-century genius and most obsessive overachiever.
The handsome senior brother smiles with his phoenix eyes and hauls her up. “Junior Sister, you’ve got extraordinary bones. Come back to my peak. Your senior brother will look after you!”
Xie Langya takes in the drafty dormitory at Yaoguang Peak, the alchemy room belching colored smoke, the weeds capable of tactical camouflage, and the book in her senior brother’s hands, A Guide to Surviving the Sect (Special Revised Edition), and falls into deep thought.
Everyone else joins the sect to cultivate hard, go on adventures, and seek opportunities.
She joins the sect to dodge her overachieving senior brother’s “surprise” training, investigate 100 ways to use a “spiritual energy funnel,” and try to play A Laugh in the Vast Sea with a fart… no, with spiritual-energy exhaust.
Later…
The Demon Venerable advances, and every sect trembles in fear.
Xie Langya is pushed to the front lines. Looking at the demonic energy blotting out the sky, she sighs and silently activates her cultivation method.
“Pffft, ”
A long, lilting note of spiritual energy, with a peculiar rhythm, rings across the battlefield.
The Demon Venerable’s mount sneezes, throwing the formation into chaos.
The righteous cultivators: “…”
The Demon Venerable: “???”
Only Shen Xinghe, waving his…
Sisters! Found a Qingliu book on cultivating immortals! Can you believe that the heroine survives by doing radio gymnastics and cooking in iron pots?! I laughed like a goose at the beginning. I yelled "New Year's greetings to Grandpa Chi Shen" at the Bone Transformation Pond, and then fell upside down into the water. This operation made me laugh out loud! What's even more amazing is that Juan Wang's senior brother Shen Xinghe, a genius swordsman who established his foundation at the age of sixteen, actually picked up the heroine who smelled like burnt body by her nose and took her home. He chased her every day and asked, "How are you planning to commit suicide today?" I'm crazy about this pair of CPs! Sand Sculpture Survival × Self-Strategy, if I don't look good, hit me!