We Just Lost the Western Conference Finals, So I Made Durant Drink Bathwater

I woke up to find I was Link, the Thunder's waterboy.

From the start, it was a nightmare difficulty level: Durant would join the Warriors in just 30 days!

[Ding! The Ultimate Basketball Support System has been activated!]

[Main Quest: Stop Durant from joining the Warriors! Failure will result in the Host's elimination!]

Me: ???

[Newbie Tip: Offer the target some "emotional comfort" to greatly improve your chances of success.]

[Recommended Item: Scarlett Johansson's bathwater.]

Me: ...System, are you out of your mind?!

To stay alive, I had to rack up some "shock value" on the court and exchange it for items!

A barrage of nothing-but-net threes? A backward shot from midcourt?

Westbrook: "Holy crap! Shoot another one!"

Durant: "Bro, you're the real Grim Reaper!"

[Congratulations, Host! Shock Value +1000! +2000! You have redeemed "Goddess's Tears"!]

Staring at the bottle of "bathwater-flavored drink" in my hand, I fell into deep thought.

KD, if I'm going to keep you here, I have no choice but to resort to this! (rubbing hands together)