Great Ming: Player Called Grandpa, Put Some Clothes On

[Great Ming] [System] [Absurd Comedy] [Wild Imagination] [The Fourth Calamity] Transmigrated into the Great Ming Prince of Xin, Zhu Youjian, he had just unlocked his System and thought heavenly reinforcements had arrived. Instead, he got a gang of social menaces! Player ID “Grandpa’s Here” went shirtless while hauling logs, asking where the BOSS was the moment he showed up. He died ten thousand times and still grinned. Player ID “Grab a Bucket and Run,” a civil engineering PhD, started remodeling the Forbidden City in real time. Player ID “Bullseye at a Hundred Paces” wanted to rack up headshots, so he tore down a palace beam to make a bow.

The rebel army is attacking the city? New players wailed, “A siege battle from the start, with full pain settings? This is way too hardcore!” The veterans grabbed buckets of boiling night soil: “Boil it and pour it on them. A true hero deserves a piping-hot drink!” They charged while scattering lime powder and planting traps, making no effort to play fair.

The Eight Banners cavalry is marching south? Players rushed into battle with firecrackers: “With the title of Number One Under Heaven, blowing Dorgon sky-high is a bargain!” Short on food and medicine? They dug wells, farmed, and brewed strong liquor, then even turned night soil into a “specialty beverage” to offer up. Watching these unarmored players who couldn’t be killed and only got more excited the harder they were hit, Dorgon broke down in tears: “This battle is impossible! They aren’t even wearing clothes!”

Drenched in night soil, he jumped up and cursed: “Never mind brewing liquor with shit, why won’t you die?” Zhu Youjian helplessly called for a halt: “No using night soil as a biological weapon! And My dragon throne is not a shield!” Meanwhile, the corners of his mouth kept twitching upward. “What lunatics? They’re all My adorable leek... I mean, peerless warriors!”

When the players hefted their buckets of night soil and firecrackers, shouting, “Charge for the title!” as they trampled the Eight Banners camp, Zhu Youjian stood atop the city wall and laughed wildly. “My players have restored the glory of Great Ming with their outrageous tactics!”