Tang Sanzang is a Buddhist influencer in the Great Tang, and to reach a million followers, he accepts Guanyin’s livestream pilgrimage challenge. His core KPI isn’t obtaining the true scriptures, but gaining followers and selling products. After Sun Wukong wreaks havoc in Heaven, he is hit with a “forced traffic restriction” beneath the Five Finger Mountain. Guanyin promises to unlock his Huaguo Mountain account once the pilgrimage succeeds. Whenever they encounter a demon, he starts a livestream and shouts, “Fam, send rockets to unlock the demon-slaying effects!” They defeat demons with nothing but verbal attacks and Huaguo Mountain’s specialty, “Brother Monkey Brand Chili Water.”
Zhu Bajie is a victim of Heaven’s “weight-loss and layoffs program.” He joins the pilgrimage just to ride the wave of traffic and sell Gao Village pork jerky. When enemies appear, he steals the offerings first, then pretends to be scared. He also keeps secretly messaging Chang’e, begging her to take him back.
Sha Wujing’s breaking of the Colored Glaze Cup was an accident, but he gets saddled with the blame for “a work error.” He hides a sewing machine among his luggage, mending his companions’ clothes while taking orders for demon-style capes, earning more than he does from livestream sales.
Guanyin disguises herself as the “operations director,” nagging them every day to update the script. Every task she drops on them is a guaranteed way to draw traffic.
White Dragon Horse is a rebellious young master of the Dragon Clan. While carrying his rider, he livestreams sales of “pilgrimage-style mount experience vouchers” and even considers turning Tang Sanzang’s monk’s staff into a selfie stick.
The pilgrimage is full of iconic moments: the White Bone Demon tries to stage an accident to get on camera; Zhu Bajie uses Red Boy’s Samadhi True Fire to roast their co-branded pork jerky; and the “true scriptures” Tathagata gives them in the end turn out to be The Million-Follower Operations Handbook.
The four pilgrims immediately reinvent themselves as an MCN agency, turning Mount Lingshan into a livestreaming base. Even demons come to apply as streamers. The ultimate meaning of the pilgrimage, it turns out, is achieving freedom from the rat race for traffic.
