In Marvel, I Transform into Oma Zi-O from the Start

Let’s start with the conclusion: Thanos was killed instantly before he even entered Earth’s atmosphere. The good news: Earth has a guardian deity named Su Mu. The bad news: This guardian deity is Oma Zi-O, and he’s got a pretty bad temper. Scene One: Loki arrives with his scepter and shouts, “Kneel!” Su Mu is having afternoon tea and is not happy to be disturbed. The result: Loki is frozen in midair for three days and nights, becoming New York’s newest landmark. The Avengers: “...” Scene Two: Ultron thinks he’s invincible online and tries to take control of the nuclear missiles. Su Mu yawns and casually rewrites Ultron’s data into a “robot vacuum program.” The result: Ultron is now diligently mopping the floors in Su Mu’s shop. Tony Stark: “Wait, why is my top-tier artificial intelligence doing this?!” Scene Three: The purple potato guy collects five stones and comes to Earth for the last one. He tells Su Mu, “Your life ends here.” Su Mu pulls out the Oma Zi-O Driver. “Your snap can wipe out half the life in the universe. Mine can turn you into a single line in a history book.”