The Secrets of Obscure Gods Revealed

Brothers! Here's a stinging question to start: Do you think the Chinese gods are just the Jade Emperor ruling the heavens and the Queen Mother of the West looking after the peaches? You couldn't be more wrong!

Take "ruling the sky." The Jade Emperor you hear about all the time only rose to power later! In ancient times, the one who truly ruled the heavens was Di Jun. His wife Xihe gave birth to ten suns, and his other wife Changxi gave birth to twelve moons. He even set the laws governing the movements of the sun and moon. The Jade Emperor would count as a junior in comparison!

Now for some lesser-known heavy hitters hidden in the classics: Bed God and Bed Goddess, who keep married couples safe in their bedroom. Newlyweds in ancient times would never start married life without paying respects to them, for fear of bad luck. Then there's Sweeping-Clear-Skies Lady, who can stop the rain. A woman cut from red paper, holding a broom by the window, was more effective than praying to the Dragon King. And Matchmaking God Wan Hui is ten times more reliable than the Old Man Under the Moon. The Old Man only ties the red thread; Wan Hui also checks the couple's birth charts. Even the Celestial Emperor had to consult him before marrying off his daughter!

Have you heard of the Pockmark God, who oversees pimples? Kangxi was able to ascend the throne because he had survived smallpox and received the Pockmark God's protection. Ever seen the Weighing God, who ensures fair scales? Merchants who shortchanged their customers in ancient times could dream of the Weighing God coming after them. There are even a Comb God who looks after hair-combing and a Vinegar God who presides over jealousy. In our ancestors' lives, even the smallest matters had a god ready to help!

I'm not writing about overexposed figures like Yang Jian and Sun Wukong. I dig up obscure gods hidden in Yijian Zhi and Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio. Every one is backed by classical texts, and every legend comes with fascinating details from folk tradition. I'm not making this up. It'll really make you slap your thigh and exclaim: "