Charge On, Butt-Man!

From the start, I hand over my golden finger, and the government tells me to get lost. During the spiritual qi revival, I awaken the Waste-to-Treasure System, a bare-bones version with only one function. At first, all it can do is turn farts into treasure. My farts can serve as my own energy source, make me walk faster, let me hover three feet off the ground, and act as stinky fart bombs to harass people. The only drawback is that they really stink.

The government calls on everyone to hand over their golden fingers, so I eagerly go in. The result? The assessment site reeks of farts. The person in charge gets so angry that he tells me to get lost. Fine, I’ll go. What he doesn’t know is that I also have the Myriad Worlds Livestream Tipping System bound to me.

Two major streamers use me as the subject of a bet. They wager on whether the most useless golden finger at the outset can be put to good use. As challenges keep coming, the Myriad Worlds Tipping System throws me into one challenge instance after another. With a steady stream of outrageous stunts and wildly imaginative strategies, I earn plenty of tips. I upgrade the System to make it more efficient and unlock a range of new functions. It just keeps getting stronger.

At first, my golden finger makes me light as a feather, speeds me up, and gives me stink bombs. Then I can control other people’s farts, and the conversion rate increases tenfold, a hundredfold, a thousandfold. A quantitative change sparks a qualitative one. I can fly with farts, almost like the Flash, and even cast a Great Fireball spell with them, though I need to point a lighter at my butt to ignite it. My stink bombs can send people flying, like poison gas bombs. People call me Fart Man or Skunk.

The catch is that I have to keep eating soybeans with cold water. Later, further upgrades let me collect foul-smelling animal emissions and greenhouse gases. Car exhaust and industrial waste gases are fair game, too, and can all be turned into compressed gas bombs. Upgrade again, and I can give aircraft carriers, satellites, and other things exhaust-gas recycling systems that are easy to clean and provide energy. The government begs me to contribute. I live happily ever after.