I Am a Conceptual-Level Calamity, Joining the Heavens Chat Group

My name is Huo Linfei, a super-genius scholar from another world. My superpower isn’t a strong punch. It’s an all-knowing, all-powerful academic voiceover that comes built in. I thought I’d make a name for myself in this new world, but on my first day, Batman nearly had me committed to Arkham as a lunatic. My voiceover couldn’t help commenting that the Joker’s criminal artistry lacked aesthetic appeal and that Mr. Freeze’s cooling technology was too inefficient… Gotham’s villains all lost it and jointly petitioned to have me sent away. So I got kicked straight into the Marvel Universe. Well, that worked out nicely! I teamed up with my good buddy Spider-Man and set off on a cross-dimensional “academic exchange” tour. I got Iron Man thinking about the philosophical implications of the Arc Reactor; I helped Captain America optimize the modern-day applications of his World War II tactics; I even discussed the connection between Asgardian beer brewing and the restoration of divine power with Thor! The Avengers went nuts, and Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. Nick Fury both loved and hated me. Thanos tried to shut me up with the Infinity Stones, but ultimately chose to offer me to Lady Deathstrike just to get some peace and quiet… Even the cosmic gods couldn’t stand me! When everyone in the Marvel Universe voted to “return me to sender,” Deadpool from the DC Universe let out a desperate cry: “No! We don’t accept this thing!” Now I’m back, armed with an upgraded “gift of gab” and a head full of knowledge from across the multiverse! DC’s heroes and villains, are you ready for an “academic storm” to sweep the globe?