Underworld Livestream: Racking Up Over 100 Million KPIs

Prologue I, the King of Reincarnation and CEO of the Underworld’s Ten Halls, am facing the biggest crisis of my career. The Heavenly Dao has launched a “modernization reform of the Underworld,” introducing the human world’s KPI assessments. For three years straight, our reincarnation satisfaction ratings have ranked dead last. At the monthly review meeting, my direct superior, the Great Emperor of Mount Tai, threw my report on the ground in front of all the gods and Buddhas. “King of Reincarnation, is this the data you’re giving me? Ghost complaints are up 30%, and reincarnation efficiency is down 50%!” “Please calm down, Your Majesty,” I tried to explain. “The main issue is that competition in the human world has gotten so fierce, and the ghosts have higher expectations for their next lives...” “Silence!” the Great Emperor sneered. “I’m giving you one last chance. The Heavenly Dao’s latest directive says the Underworld needs to go ‘internet plus’ too. Go to the human world and start livestreaming!” “Live... streaming?” “That’s right! Promote the Underworld’s new image, turn around the negative public opinion, and raise public satisfaction! If you don’t reach 100 million followers and meet your KPIs by the end of the year, you can reincarnate as a paramecium!” And so I, Xue Yan, the King of Reincarnation who presides over life, death, and rebirth, stood at the busiest intersection in the human world and raised my selfie stick. As I watched comments like “That guy is so handsome” float across the screen, I took a deep breath and forced a professional smile. “Hello, everyone. I’m the King of Reincarnation, one of the Ten Kings of the Underworld. Today is my first day livestreaming.” “Our reincarnation services have now been optimized across the board, with all six paths available for you to choose from. Follow the livestream now and get a 20% discount coupon for the Rebirth Hall.”