Three Kingdoms' Madman: I, Mi Heng, Just Want to Die

After winning a thousand games of Legends of the Three Kingdoms in a row, Mi Heng takes on the ultimate challenge. He transmigrates to the late Han dynasty, becoming the famously outrageous scholar Mi Heng, the same Mi Heng who beat the war drum naked and cursed Cao Cao. [Ultimate challenge objective: Assist a worthy ruler and end the chaos.] [Ultimate reward: Complete the objective and receive a prize of 100 million.] [Safety-net clause: If you die because of your outrageous behavior during the ultimate challenge, you will receive a consolation prize of 1 million.] Mi Heng is thrilled to learn about the safety net. As the saying goes, “Better a dog in peacetime than a man in a time of chaos!” He has no desire to stay in the late Han, where eunuchs hold power, treacherous ministers ruin the country, wars break out at the drop of a hat, people can barely get enough to eat, and there are no phones, Wi-Fi, or long-legged beauties. As for assisting a worthy ruler and ending the chaos? That’s a hell-level challenge. With his dim, failing-student brain, he can crack jokes and clown around, but he’s clearly not qualified to compete with the heroes of the Three Kingdoms. If reckless, outrageous behavior earns him a guaranteed million, then in this age when human life is cheaper than grass, that million might as well be handed to him. It should be a piece of cake. So Mi Heng begins his death-seeking adventure in Xuchang. But before long, he realizes things aren’t as simple as he imagined. Zhang Liao: “This man fights with incredible courage. He charges into battle himself every time, and his command of troops is divine!” Sima Yi: “Mi Heng’s contempt for Jiang Shang and Han Xin is no exaggeration. His command of troops is worthy of the gods. I cannot surpass him!” Liu Bei: “With Mi Heng’s help, I can surely restore the Han dynasty three times over and reshape the world.” Cao Cao: “I hate him! Mi Heng! It’s Mi Heng again!” Mi Heng: “The chaos is almost over, so why is it so hard to provoke people and get myself killed?”