The Summons Won't Work? Please Show Your ID

In the superstition-ridden entertainment industry, being an assistant to a popular star is dangerous. When evil cultivators kidnapped me, I told them, "What you're doing is illegal. Come with me and turn yourselves in." They laughed at me for talking about the law with death staring me in the face. That is, until a special department burst in. The leader flashed his badge and said, "Young man, you deserve commendation for your tenacious struggle against this criminal gang. The Fifth Division hereby invites you to join us." I'm Zhao Zhonghua: a pure-yang physique, former celebrity assistant, and now a temp at the Fifth Division. The farthest reaches of the universe lie in the Northeast, and the ultimate goal of cultivating immortality is landing a government job. My new colleagues: a fox spirit generating revenue for the Culture and Tourism Bureau, a living Buddha mediating disputes at the subdistrict office, and a Daoist master working as a combat instructor for the corps. They all have bright futures. My daily work: issuing fines to mountain gods who poach offerings, and making cross-border arrests of evil cultivators who practice witchcraft and steal national destiny. Now we've received a report of an evil cultivator disrupting order at the local level. The captain asks me, "Xiao Zhao, is your pure-yang energy fully charged?" I flash my badge. "Enforcement procedures are underway." Three blows shatter the dream of immortality. Officer, I'm just an ordinary, law-abiding guy!