An Immortal Official’s Promotion: I Just Want to Return to the Mortal World and Be a Poet

“Judge Gong, the Jade Emperor has issued an order. You are to ascend to immortality at once!”

I was busy chewing on an osmanthus cake I’d swiped from a starving ghost, and nearly choked to death. “Ascend? Did you summon the wrong soul? I’ve still got fifty years of yin lifespan left!”

The muscular leader sneered. “Who said anything about reincarnating? The Jade Emperor noticed the line you wrote in the mortal world, ‘Fallen petals are not heartless things,’ and decided you have ‘a heart for flowers.’ He’s promoting you to the Immortal Official of Fallen Petals, in charge of the Hundred Flowers Bureau!”

“Immortal Official of Fallen Petals?” I spat a mouthful of osmanthus cake onto the muscular guard’s gleaming helmet. “In charge of flowers? I can’t even keep a cactus alive! Besides, that poem was about how my talents went unrecognized. What on earth does it have to do with flowers?!”