My Choices Are Wildly Unhinged

[System + feel-good power fantasy + comedy + absurdity + scheming]

I’d barely started college when the student council president humiliated me in front of everyone and demanded I reflect on my worthless life.

A god-tier choice System activated on the spot!

[Option A]: Rush the stage and confess my love to him in an operatic aria, reward: “Word Spirit”!

[Option B]: Fake an accident with the campus belle standing nearby, reward: “Constitution Enhancement Potion”!

As if! I, Ling Yi, am a respectable guy!

So, in front of the entire school, I shouted at him, “President! I love you!”

From then on, I was forced farther and farther down the path of “not acting like a person.”

A villain sends thugs to corner me? I grab a brick and smash myself over the head, then cry and beg to join their gang, scaring them so badly they wet themselves!

My rival’s dad is a business tycoon? I hire eight burly men to play suona beneath his house, then send him off in style with “Song of the Hero” playing as he takes center stage at his own funeral!

Years later, when a reporter asks me the secret to my success, I answer with a world-weary look:

“Honestly, I just wanted to be an ordinary person.”

“But the System… it just gives me way too much!”