The Tomb Raider Clan Elder Never Said This Tattoo Would Get Me a Partner!

PS: Lots of OOC. All the names are made up, as are the generational names. As everyone knows, Zhang Qiling is a famously aloof heartthrob in the tomb-raiding world, burdened with his family's mission, the secret of the Bronze Gate, and the grand nickname “Bottle.” But! No! One! Ever! Expected! The ancestral qilin tattoo on his back to come alive one day! And it even came with a “child bride” personality! The little qilin, A Li, says her favorite thing is “flying through the air,” but her technique is a little unstable. She often starts falling mid-flight, and Zhang Qiling has to secretly reel her back in on an “invisible kite string” (which is really just him grabbing the hem of her clothes). Wu Xie: “Little Brother, why are you always staring at the sky and grinning like an idiot?” Zhang Qiling: “…Watching the clouds.” (Actually, he's watching his wife perform 360-degree spins among the clouds.) Clan elder: (sipping tea leisurely) I told you this tattoo would help you find a wife, didn't I? Wu Xie: So Little Brother used to stare at the sky because he was watching his wife play in the clouds? Fatty (looking up at the sky): Does that mean Little Brother is raising his wife in the cloud? Zhang family seafood: Clan elder, you said this would help us find wives. Why don't we have any? (>﹏<)