Delta Force: You Turned an NPC Into Your Wife?

Let me get this straight: I seem to have turned a tactical battle royale into a harem-raising game mixed with mythic warfare.

I got the [Bonds of All Things System], which lets me hear the thoughts of everything in the game.

I thought it was a god-tier cheat, but then...

Scene one: I want to loot a crate.

The medic NPC that pops out of it winks at me. “Big brother, are you my Master?”

Enemy team: “??? Since when can skins talk?”

Scene two: I want to pick up a gun.

The M4 starts crying and says, “Don’t use me, I’m scared it’ll hurt! There’s a camper with a silencer at three o’clock. Go take his!”

Me: (quietly pulling out a grenade)

The camper who gets blown up: “It wasn’t me! I didn’t do it! Who told you that?!”

Scene three: I want to drive a car.

The armed helicopter Yuluan sends me its thoughts: “Master, please take the controls! I’ll sweep everything in your path!”

Game officials: “What the hell! Why did that helicopter take off by itself?!”

From then on, while everyone else is chasing chicken dinners, I’m doting on my wives. While they’re trading gunfire, I’m chatting with my gear.

Come on, System, get serious! I ask you to loot a crate, and you turn an NPC into my wife? What’s that supposed to mean?!