National Destiny Variety Show: A Seven-Year-Old Speaks, and the Entire Internet Rises to Pay Tribute

The rating just came out. It’ll gradually go up.

I’m Feng Yun, and I have three identities.

In the eyes of my “underlings,” I’m “Director Feng,” a mere seven-year-old who can plan and strategize, an all-knowing life coach.

In the eyes of Longguo’s leadership, I’m a “shadow consultant” with future technology at my fingertips, the hope of leading the country to greatness.

But in my own heart… I’m just a corporate drone who wants to drink cola, eat chips, and play video games!

My underlings ask, “Director Feng, what’s your take on the international situation?”

In my head: “Thanks for asking. I just got out of kindergarten and only want to go home and watch Pleasant Goat.”

But out loud, I say, “Comrades, we must focus on the principal contradiction and unite everyone we can.”

The result: My words become the guiding principle for Longguo’s foreign policy for the next ten years.

The leadership asks, “Director Feng, how do we break through the technological blockade?”

In my head: “Come on, let’s get off work! The new game skin is about to become unavailable forever!”

But out loud, I say, “We must concentrate our strength on major undertakings and overtake others on the bends in key fields.”

The result: The controlled nuclear fusion project is approved that very day, and I’m appointed “Honorary Commander-in-Chief.”

As the whole world cries, “Long live Director Feng!” I quietly take a sip of water from my enamel mug.

(Stop shouting! At this rate, I won’t get off work on time to play video games again!)