Think I'm Poor? Qin Shi Huang Begs to Tip Me!

Good news: I can chat online with Qin Shi Huang and Emperor Wu of Han.

Bad news: the price is that they’re about to fleece me bald.

(Seriously, what do your regrets have to do with a broke 21st-century student like me?!)

I wanted to teach my gold-digging ex-girlfriend a lesson.

So I asked Qin Shi Huang to gift me some “imperial authority.”

The result: The old emperor offered up a lifetime of insights, and I unlocked [First Emperor’s Authority]. My ex’s new boyfriend took one look from me and wet himself in terror.

Everyone: “Holy crap, who is this guy?!”

I wanted to solve a problem with my graduation thesis.

So I asked Emperor Taizong of Tang to reveal some “inside secrets.”

The result: He sent me an unreleased edition of the Zhenguan Zhengyao. I left my department head speechless at my thesis defense, and he insisted on taking me on as his prized pupil.

The professors: “This… this is a dimensionality-reducing attack on history!”

I wanted to earn some spending money.

So I asked Emperor Wu of Han how to make money.

The result: He passed on his “art of imperial strategy,” and I crushed every rival at a business competition, winning a million yuan in prize money.

Everyone: “Wait, how can someone who studies dead people’s history know so much about finance?!”

Me, rubbing my temples: Please, no more gifts. I really don’t have enough HP left…