Journey to the West: I Won't Become the Victorious Fighting Buddha, My Flower-Fruit Mountain Is Unrivaled

Bad news: I transmigrated into Sun Wukong just as he left the Five Finger Mountain.

Good news: The System activated.

Even worse news: The System is a prankster, and rewards come only from pulling outrageous stunts.

So...

Scene one: Guanyin smiles as she hands me the golden headband.

I pretend to put it on, then twist it into a pretzel and fling it in her face. “This size doesn't fit. One star!”

Result: Guanyin's manifested form explodes, and I earn 100,000 Fate-Reversal Points.

Tang Sanzang: “...Amitabha Buddha, I don't know him.”

Scene two: The East Sea Dragon King refuses to provide water, claiming fate decreed it.

I hit him with a little causality manipulation: “From now on, every time you drink water, you'll choke!”

Result: Ao Guang nearly chokes to death while drinking tea in the Crystal Palace, then tearfully brings the entire East Sea over.

Dragon Kings of the Four Seas: “Come on, you can't take a joke?!”

Scene three: The Jade Emperor watches from the heavens, hoping the Buddhists will kill me.

I pull out a [Reality Projection Card]: “Old Jade Emperor, quit watching from the sidelines. Did you buy a ticket? Come grab a front-row VIP seat!”

Result: The Jade Emperor is dragged straight to the front lines, his face turning green.

Me, shrugging: “I want to keep a low profile too, but the System keeps giving me so much!”