The Nun I Secretly Loved

The Nun with a Secret Crush (also known as Green Lamp, Secret Crush) is a 300,000-character fantasy romance novel, as well as a guide to modern spiritual liberation. Told in a first-person, introspective style, it unfolds a cultivation journey that weaves together Buddhist wisdom, emotion, and healing. Miaoyin falls in love at first sight with Xia Qingliang, a Buddhist physician, and becomes consumed by sorrow until she develops lung cancer. This seemingly forbidden love is, in truth, a bodhi mirror reflecting the reality of life.

When her dreams reveal a fated bond spanning a thousand years, in the form of a pair of lotus blossoms growing from one stem, and when her adoptive mother manifests as a relic, a spirit fox appears, and her father comes back into her life, Miaoyin gradually realizes that this ordeal is a sharp-edged teaching bestowed by Manjushri. Illness is a mirror that reveals the clinging self; affection is a Zen practice for seeing through the deluded mind. Guided by the great-vowed old Zen master and her teacher Miaohui, and accompanied by Xia Qingliang, who supports her with medical care, she embarks on an extraordinary journey of healing. Rather than fighting illness, she uses it to observe her mind; rather than severing her feelings, she transforms this small love into a great vow for a world without cancer.

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