Journey to the West: I Was a Bald Monk from the Start

(Two male leads, check the synopsis. One-on-one, the bottom is the main character. Journey to the West fanfic, comedy, transmigration, System.) Tang Sheng woke up to find the sky had fallen. He had transmigrated and become Tang Sanzang. A shaved head, monk's robes, Five Elements Mountain, and a System chiming away inside his brain. [Main quest: Journey to the West. Failure penalty: lifelong impotence.] Tang Sheng: "...Are you some kind of beast?" System: [Host, please watch your language.] Tang Sheng took a deep breath and accepted his fate. Hair could grow back, but that thing was gone for good. He packed his things, took the reins of the White Dragon Horse, and headed for Five Elements Mountain to recruit a great disciple as his bodyguard. The original story said Sun Wukong would obediently become his disciple and protect him all the way to the West. In reality... "I'm not going." Tang Sheng: "..." "Please, bro." After finally talking the monkey around, they reached Gao Village, where another lazybones showed up. "I'll go with you, but on one condition: you have to take care of my food and sleep along the way." Tang Sheng looked at his broad shoulders, like a door panel. "...Fine." Then, by the Flowing Sand River, a water demon so beautiful he hardly seemed real came drifting up, nine skulls hanging around his neck. Tang Sheng sighed. "You want to come with me too?" The water demon said nothing, but quietly took his place behind him. A madman who had been imprisoned for five hundred years, a former Marshal Tianpeng who was lazy beyond compare, a taciturn former Curtain-Rolling General, a chatterbox dragon horse, and a fake monk. And so they set off.