My name is Hao Yun. I'm from Northeast China, and I'm Meituan's five-star delivery king.
One stormy night, I ran a red light. With a bang, my electric scooter and I went flying straight to heaven.
When I opened my eyes again, a coffin lid was my stove, coffin nails were my chopsticks, and the Heavenly Dao System was chattering in my ear:
"If you don't bring food delivery to the Nine Heavens and Ten Lands within three years, you'll die again, and I'll scatter your soul to the winds!"
I looked at the last two tomatoes and three eggs in my pocket and fell into deep thought.
In this cultivation world, where people eat fasting pills for meals and use flying swords like Didi rides, everyone's a tough customer. And you want me to deliver boxed lunches?
Fine, I'll do it!
Tomato and egg rice bowls: a Foundation Establishment combo, one spirit stone each. If you don't advance your cultivation after eating one, I'll livestream myself washing my hair upside down!
I've turned a coffin lid into a modified Flying E-Scooter. It uses three drops of pine oil per hundred kilometers, and it can fly, bounce, and transform.
My customers range from down-on-her-luck junior sisters to big shots in the Demon Realm. Every five-star review adds sixty years to my cultivation, while a bad review earns me a lightning strike on the butt.
I drove a ten-thousand-year-old pill shop out of business,
changed the Heavenly Court's Peach Banquet to my braised chicken,
and cured the Queen Mother's three-thousand-year constipation with a bowl of tomato and egg drop soup.
The immortals all begged me for five-star reviews.
Brandishing my spatula, I roared at the sky:
"Who else hasn't ordered delivery?!"
[Reading Tips]
Northeastern slang, hilarious banter, and a no-brainer power fantasy,
with every spoonful cooking up a Heavenly Dao daddy!
Updates are steady, so follow without worry.
Come read when you're hungry. It'll make your mouth water!
