Late Qing: All My Men Think I’m a Genius, and I Lie Flat My Way to Becoming the Founding Father!

I’m Yang Daren, a drama-school graduate drowning in debt. I transmigrated twice into the world of Teahouse while using the bathroom! A fake watch I bought for 9.9 yuan with free shipping got me an imperial snuff bottle, which I turned around and sold for sixty million! A box of Feminine Cleanser that was almost past its expiration date was mistaken by a brothel madam for “Jade Elixir of Purity,” and she traded it for a Beijing courtyard house! I figured this business was worth pursuing, so I drove a “Shandong Cat” agricultural tricycle to the Forbidden City to sell my wares. Empress Dowager Cixi promptly appointed me ambassador to the Principality of Meizhege and even forced more than two hundred national treasures on me! Me, overjoyed: I’m rich! Back to the modern era! Buy weapons! Save my life! But when I went to Russia, foreigners could only buy air guns? Fine! My drama-school talent kicks in! I play the ultimate sucker with more money than sense, and in one move, I lure out a corrupt general. I “zero-dollar purchase” his entire arsenal and all the dirty money he’s embezzled over several lifetimes! Comrade General, I’ve signed for your delivery. It comes with complimentary, all-in-one international cremation service. You’re welcome! Back in the Qing dynasty, I only meant to brag to my men! But then... everything went completely out of control. I burp, and they call it “the first clarion call of the revolution”! I fart, and they call it “sweeping away the miasma of the rotten old world”! I point at a row of AK-47s and genuinely exclaim, “These things are worth a fortune!” My unhinged men burst into tears and fall to their knees before the guns, crying, “Our boss has shown us the one and only truth: the truth lies within the range of cannons! We will fight the revolution to the end and build a new world!” Help! I really just want to make money!