Lin Xuan, the 38th-generation Celestial Master of Longhu Mountain, mastered a lifetime's worth of esoteric arts through sheer ability. All he wanted was to lie on a park bench until the end of time. Unfortunately, his master threatened to cut off his food unless he signed a livestreaming contract: “Gain a million followers in three months, or I'll take back your Celestial Master's seal!”
With an old phone and 500 yuan in his pocket, he headed down the mountain and began streaming under the painfully honest title: “I Don't Want to Catch Ghosts Today, Either.” On his first day, he had three viewers: one bot, one staff member, and one old lady out for a stroll. When his camera caught a little ghost while he was sleeping in the park, viewers called it a “low-budget special effect.” He casually tossed a scrap of paper, a basic talisman, and scattered the evil spirit. The chat flooded with comments praising the seamless “effects,” while the System popped up with a reward: “Passive spirit-cleansing: one deluxe jianbing guozi!”
The sharp-tongued operations manager Su Wan sought him out, hoping to turn him into a “paranormal comedy streamer.” Lin Xuan wanted to refuse, but the System's quest had him cornered: “Sign a contract with her and slack off until she gives up. Reward: a rental with no deposit!” Who knew Su Wan would be even more ruthless and put “slacking off” right into his KPIs? And so the Celestial Master of Longhu Mountain began his “slacker-style spirit cleansing”: driving a weasel spirit away with “Little Apple,” chasing off evil ghosts by throwing chicken bones at them, and even scattering an entire ghost army by having his viewers request “Good Luck Is Coming” during a challenge in the main altar of the Mysterious Yin Sect.
