After ten thousand years of being stuck on the Golden Throne, the Emperor just wants to quietly slack off and let the Astronomican keep human civilization running on autopilot.
That is, until one day, Slaanesh presented him with a figurine so dazzling it could blind you, Nurgle brought over a family meal capable of taking down a Titan, Tzeentch delivered Introduction to Slacking Off, and Khorne... Khorne just straight-up flipped the table!
“Who the hell gave you permission to pile more work on me?!”
The Emperor opened his eyes in a fury, and the Golden Throne lit up with an RGB halo! He flung his crown aside, the throne shook, and his wrath transformed into golden memes that swept through the Warp!
The Four Gods burst into tears on the spot. They fled with their palaces overnight, shouting as they ran, “Have mercy, boss! We’ll pay the maintenance fees! We’ll sign the noise agreement!”
From then on, the whole tone of things went completely off the rails!
The Adeptus Mechanicus went into a frenzy of overwork: “The Emperor says the hymns are off-key! Get a million vocal coaches in here!” Guilliman's CPU overheated: “Father's charging us maintenance fees? This must be a fifth-dimensional strategic conspiracy!” Khorne's daemons weren't allowed to make a sound while fighting, so they could only have staring contests! Nurgle tearfully unclogged the sewers! Tzeentch was forced to write a ten-thousand-word self-criticism! Slaanesh got roasted for having terrible taste!
Meanwhile, the Emperor himself remained firmly seated on the Golden Throne, correcting Imperial paperwork with his mind (“Too much nonsense. One star!”), remotely roasting the Warp's resident troublemakers, and occasionally liking posts from his overthinking blue son (“Father, I understand you!” “No, you don't.”).
This is an epic tale of toilets, work, slacking off, and saving the galaxy with snark!
Click to read and see how the Master of Mankind turns the Warhammer 40,000 universe into a comedy routine with nothing but his mouth and his unmatched power!
